I sometimes feel I’ve exhausted friends, family and other resources and this is a good place ig
I don’t think it really makes much difference but I’m gonna keep screaming it at nothing
Tag: journaling
About journaling
can’t even tell how I feel anymore
Everything is just heavy and I’m tired but I don’t care
IS this just the sedation from the new meds or is this me adjusting to normal levels of energy?? Or am I hitting depressive lows and we’re going full circle???
I wanna put something deep here
But there’s nothing to really say
I’m pushing through until the pale horse catches up with me again and one day I will not outrun it
Ya bitch is tired
But for now powering on through
The eternal cycle of meds
I like when meds make me feel good even if I’m bad at taking them sometimes but I still don’t rly trust them like why do I take you and feel bleh and depression nap for a week and then miss 2-3 doses and feel great but not while taking them
I get it won’t last and should stick to the meds and I will however badly but why can’t I just lock into a high state and stay there without going supernova or some other dumb stuff yk?
It genuinely makes me want to kms but like kinda stuck in a loop here either way rn
meds work 
miss meds
feel great
feel great and wanna die
reset and repeat
i don’t wanna be here
I really don’t wanna be here for much longer frens
I have to be bc like plans and people that love me and what not but
I am really not meant for this yk ¯_(ツ)_/¯
The meds help level me out the highs and sure I’m not in psychosis or anything but even medicated Idk I don’t wanna exist
lmao I just gotta make it for like a few more weeks then I can build routine and get new therapist
mayb that will help everyone says it will so ¯_(ツ)_/¯
this has been the vibe lately
Now I’m just prescribed batteries
Day 3 and so far I’m still feeling great
A lot of introspective thought is forcing it’s way in which has led to some slight anxiety but everything is overall going great and I think the meds (particularly the newly added lithium) is working :DD
The windows are open and the sun is shining again :)
It’s been a hell of a few weeks and not to jinx it but other than running on 2 hours of sleep I feel like the sun is back and everything is good?
Are the meds finally doing their thing? Is the lithium actually working? or am I just zooming all over again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That familiar feeling of sinking
I can’t seem to get away from the gravity of this void. It pulls and it keeps pulling and sometimes I manage to forget it’s there for a while but I always end up being pulled back under the collapsing soil.