I like when meds make me feel good even if I’m bad at taking them sometimes but I still don’t rly trust them like why do I take you and feel bleh and depression nap for a week and then miss 2-3 doses and feel great but not while taking them
I get it won’t last and should stick to the meds and I will however badly but why can’t I just lock into a high state and stay there without going supernova or some other dumb stuff yk?
It genuinely makes me want to kms but like kinda stuck in a loop here either way rn
meds work 
miss meds
feel great
feel great and wanna die
reset and repeat